I AM... CHHHHAAANNNNGING!!!

Have you ever heard that amazing song, I am Changing sung by many, but most well known when sung in the movie DreamGirls by Jennifer Hudson. It is a song that I am VERY familiar with. I love the song and its meaning is really starting to show true in my life these days. It talks about how she is making changes in her life, making herself better, but how she can't do it alone. How she "needs a hand."

My life is changing, no matter if I want it to or not, the changes will be made. But in order for these changes to work in my favor, and be the most beneficial for myself and my family, I need that "hand." With my husband thousands of miles away, I can't depend on him to help me make these changes in my life.

My life changed drastically about 7 months ago, when I left everything I knew and moved to be with my then boyfriend, now husband. I left my parents, my friends, school, work, everything. Not knowing how hard it really was going to be. I went about 4 months not doing anything. I played house wife. Then realized that wasn't me. I have to contribute in everyway to the home and relationship. As well as make myself better in the process. Having some college credits isn't enough for me. Being able to make the plates shine, isn't enough for me. I want that degree. I want that home with the dishwasher in it. I want more. Not just for myself, but for my family.

So the changes are becoming bigger and better. I am working now at an amazing job. I love my job and especially love my paychecks! I am finally equally contributing to the household income. This job isn't just a job for the time being, it comes with the ability to transfer. So no matter where my husbands career takes us, I have the upper hand in finding an equally great job at the next location.

I have started school again. I am half way to my bachelors degree in Psychology and found out the other day that finishing my degree could take as little as a year!! So there is the potential that before my husband comes home. I will have a degree! Helping with any job hunting in my future, along with maybe an increase in income!

In about a week, I will be starting the process of finding a new place to live. Something so much better than where I am currently. It has EVERYTHING I could ever need or want included! To include the safety factor. It is pricier, but with the changes I am making in my life, it is ok. IT IS AFFORDABLE! Something I didn't think I would be able to say about this place, for a LONG LONG LONG time.

My life isn't not close to where I want it to be. It is stressful, it is crazy, it keeps me on my toes. But things are looking up, I AM CHANGING! TRYING EVERYWAY I CAN! Some part of my life will take longer to change than others, but with the support I have and am finding, I can do it. The helping hands are coming out of the woodworks and it is amazing. I never thought I would move and find friends that I could confide in and ask for help, when I really need it.

My motto has always been, "Life's a bitch, then you die." But as I get older, make the needed changes in my life and start to see the greener side of things as an adult, my motto is CHANGING too. "Life's a journey. Live it to the fullest."